If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize