he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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