used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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