): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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