is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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