We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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