So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize