if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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