your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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