Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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