I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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