I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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