Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
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Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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