sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize