she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tornado booty call.. dedication
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize