would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize