1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Two words: blizzard sex
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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