we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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