I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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