he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize