how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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