i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You ruined the universe
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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