That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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