cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
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