I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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