3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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