I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize