Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize