We need to rekindle our bromance
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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