i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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