Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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