Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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