I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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