I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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