splinters make it hard to masturbate
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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