I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
kristin has been a bad kristin
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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