Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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