i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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