I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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