i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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