I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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