Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize