I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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