BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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