question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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