I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is Oprah even human
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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