you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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