So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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