Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize