You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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